It’s the cranky mornings when someone didn’t get enough sleep. It’s the body odors that are NOT yours along with the grunts, groans, and grumbles. It’s extra laundry, and another person to cook for, hoping it is their taste too. It’s the “not fair” moments when someone gets blamed for the spot on the rug, or the lack of milk in the carton, or the birthday card that didn’t get sent out when it should have. It’s the interrupted TV shows you are trying to hear, but someone needs to tell you just one more thing, or simply prefers to be the program commentator for the night. The sentence in your evening book that you have read at least a dozen times, but still don’t know what it says because the someone special next to you in bed is telling you something far more important…the book will always be there, but their story may not. It’s having stuff put away that you like having out, but it drives the other person crazy to have the clutter. There are the battles over bills, travel plans, decorating styles, ideas on politics, religion, and childrearing. It’s the blended family of new lives, adding extra reminders of birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. It’s the “I want” but “I don’t” moments that come up over the silliest things. The name calling…yes, at any age…and the things said that you wish you could take back.
It’s the quiet conversations over dinner, and the “thank you” for a meal prepared with love…perhaps even two hours of love (a little inside joke). It’s the laughs you share when you watch reruns of King of Queens or some other sitcom you have watched every episode of…but still laugh together. It’s knowing that you are protected, and nothing will ever harm you as long as he is around. It’s the smile on someone’s face when you bring in flowers or hide anniversary flowers in the washing machine so you can plant them in the morning…the last place in the world you would think he would look, but he did. The moments when your spouse doesn’t feel well, and you want to take their pain away. It’s watching them sleep and hoping they are having sweet dreams. It’s saying whatever you want because with them you are free just to be.
It’s knowing when you’re about to fall asleep each night that you love that person enough to give it another day…that’s love…and it’s called marriage.